News & going away!

Embezzlement, fraud, moneylaundering - every day happenings in our beloved motherland. Sometimes I wonder why we even have to buy a newspaper anymore. I can close my eyes, point a finger randomly to a page and know it will be something like "President of Red Cross ousted by General Assembly for misuse of funds" or "Minister implicated in fraud". Talk of the month. Yawn. Flip the page. "Pacific Islanders and Obesity". We love our mutton flaps, and nobody is going to take that away from us. Not even at $7.00 a pound. Here's one that didn't make the news. A man walked in on his wife getting her groove on with a man from the village. The husband watched and waited for the man to leave. He followed him and cut off his head and male organ. He put it in his fishing bag and went back home cool as a cucumber. Next day he told his wife to take the kids to their aunt's and told her to make dinner. After dinner he told her to get the fish from his fishing bag. She opened it and found the severed head and penis staring her in the face. She freaked, and tried to run. He stopped her, slashed her neck and chopped her into pieces. Then he called the police. And that's why I am never having an affair.

So that's the boring things-we-already-knew news. In more interesting news....

Since I was young, I have a deep yearning to live in NZ for very important and valid reasons. 1) Sesame St came on TV every day. Every day. I'd be lucky to get Sesame St once a month in Samoa. 2) In winter, you could blow out air just like in the movies. 3) The Mangere public library was heaven. I found every single Enid Blyton book that was missing from the school library at home. 4) Macdonalds!!! Need I say more? Now that I am older, and possibly slightly wiser, reasons have changed. 1) Sesame St doesn't come on anymore but Wiggles does! 2) The kids will love it 3) Easy access to KFC, Burger King & Wendy's 4) Possibly a better future. So taking all this into account, I applied for the quota this year. And got it. I was ecstatic! I wanted to move to NZ like tomorrow. I went online to look for the cheapest next available flights. I forget to add 3 children while looking for online quotes. I called my mother to tell her the good news. Her reaction burst my happy bubble. She said "What about us?" And I sat there. I hadn't thought about that. About how the only daughter is obligated to stay at home and look after her parents forever. In my selfishness I was about to call my unmarried brother to tell him to GET MARRIED, I don't care how you do it when you do it, just do it! Right. And pigs fly. So I am now in a dilemma. I'm excited about going to NZ, but cannot leave my parents behind AND I'm having fun with my job right now. AND I've got loan repayments the size of Savaii. And although it sounds like a good future, I'm likely to start off pumping gas, trying to pay the rent and day care and school fees and car loan. I don't know. Life seems so much easier here. At least here NPF is a stone's throw away.

I told Tino we MAY be going to NZ. This was last week. Now all her friends and teachers know she's moving to NZ. Tomorrow. And she's going to have her own house with her own room and her own bed and she's going to paint her room black. Not pink, or blue or yellow. Black. She's adamant that it must be black. I told her I'm going to NZ this weekend for work. She cried. She wailed "What about my room?? Are you going to paint it without me??" I bribed her by making her write a list of all the things she wants me to get for her while in NZ. The list was made up of 1) A blue schoolbag with a Dora on it. "It can't have Swiper on it Mummy, ONLY Dora" 2) A blue umbrella 3) A blue train 4) Blue shoes & blue clothes. And what does Elita want? "Toy! Toy! Toy!"

I'm actually really looking forward to my trip. I can't think of much else except getting on that plane. Minus husband and children. I'm supposed to feel guilty and overwhelmed with sadness that I will be leaving my 4 month old, 2 year old and 5 year old behind. Never mind the husband. I ask myself, "Am I such a terrible mother that I don't feel guilty leaving them? Am I so heartless? Selfish?" My conscience is screaming YES. And my state of denial self is saying noooo, you need a break. You haven't been anywhere (Fiji & Savaii don't count) for 2 years (your fault for being pregnant two years in a row you over-fertile sex maniac) and you owe it to yourself to take time off. AND it IS a work trip. But joking aside, I will miss them - the two babies the most. Although I yearn for a holiday and a trip on a plane to a faraway place, by day 2 I will be crying for the kids. Fia keige mamafa ia ae kaea lol.

So alerting all Burger Kings in the Auckland region! 90kg Samoan woman arriving 28 Aug, please ensure sufficient double whoppers in stock.