New look and baby worries

You may have noticed I've changed this blog look about a few gazillion times already. Or not. I can't figure how I want it to look. Very much akin to my approach to life - always looking for a change, never satisfied with one thing. Always UNDECIDED. Rest assured I will be changing the template AGAIN by next week. That's if I'm not already on maternity leave or still in the lovely throes of pain childbirth.

Which brings me to baby matters. I'm 37 or so weeks along. Which means 3 weeks left to be scared shitless and WORRY about the pain. I honestly never feel the thrill and excitement of anticipation of a new baby because most of the time I'm freaking out, just wanting to get it over with. It's that moment when she (yes always a SHE) comes out, and I can relax and let that maternal feeling overwhelm me - that's when the excitement and thrill really kick in. And the incessant crying, colic-ridden late nights. Oh joy.

I haven't bought a single item of baby clothing. Mostly because I was in denial that it was another girl. 5 or so scans later, I'm a believer. It's time to get down to business and do some serious shopping. Serious as in 3 singlets, maybe a second-hand tub and carrier. Because I'm cheap like that. And definitely POOR like that. And besides, Elita's extensive wardrobe will be passed down. And yes I am making excuses, and I hope when this baby grows up she doesn't read this post and feel underappreciated and unloved and why did she get all the hand-me-downs and why didn't she get any clothes from relatives overseas like her older siblings did? Because sweety, life ain't fair like that.

I'm still contemplating names. Again, undecided. Will keep you posted on that - or else it'll be one of those "We welcome Baby No Name Chu Ling into the world!"

But enough with the baby talk. I'll be doing lots of that in a few weeks time anyway. When I think of something inspiring and thought-provokinga and meaningful to write about, I'll be back.